Learning how to store freeze-dried Unicorn Turds is refreshingly easy, but it is worth a quick read because the rules are the opposite of what your instincts might say. There is no freezer involved, no fridge, and no special container required. The entire job comes down to one idea: keep the moisture out. Get that right and a bag stays crunchy for a long time. Get it wrong and even the best candy slowly goes soft.

Moisture is the only enemy

Freeze-dried Unicorn Turds get their crunch from having the moisture removed. That same lightness is what makes them vulnerable, because the tiny air pockets that create the crunch are always ready to pull humidity back out of the air. When they do, the candy softens. Heat, by contrast, does almost nothing to them. So forget everything you know about storing regular candy and focus on one thing: dryness.

Where to keep them

A cool, dry spot away from direct sunlight is ideal. A pantry shelf or a kitchen cabinet is perfect. You want somewhere steady, dry, and out of the light, and almost every kitchen has a spot like that.

Just as important is where not to keep them. The fridge and freezer feel natural for candy but add humidity, which works directly against the crunch. A sunny windowsill bakes them in the afternoon light. The counter beside the stove or the sink catches steam and splashes every time you cook or wash up. None of these will instantly ruin a sealed bag, but for an open one they speed up the softening considerably.

Sealed versus opened

There are two storage situations with slightly different timelines.

Unopened and stored properly, freeze-dried Unicorn Turds hold their quality for a very long time. The sealed bag keeps air and moisture out, so there is no rush. This is exactly what makes them easy to buy ahead for a party or a gift and keep on the shelf until you need them.

Once you open the bag, air gets in every time you reach for a piece, so the clock speeds up a bit. The fix is simple: press the air out and reseal the bag tightly after each handful, or move the rest into an airtight container or jar. Done consistently, an opened bag stays crisp for weeks. The pieces that go soft are almost always the ones left in a bag that sat open overnight.

A few common storage mistakes

Most softening traces back to a handful of easy-to-avoid habits. Leaving the bag loosely rolled instead of actually sealed lets air sneak in. Storing them near the stove or sink exposes them to steam. And treating them like normal ice cream by putting the bag in the fridge or freezer guarantees moisture. Skip those three and you have skipped the vast majority of storage problems.

What to do if they soften

If a piece has gone a little soft, do not panic and do not throw it out. It is not spoiled. It simply absorbed moisture and lost its best texture, and it is still perfectly safe to eat. Going forward, tighten the seal, move the rest into an airtight container, and find a drier storage spot. If you live somewhere humid, a food-safe desiccant packet tucked in with a bulk stash helps a lot.

Storing a bigger stash

Because they keep so well sealed, Unicorn Turds are easy to buy a few bags at a time, which is how a lot of people clear the free-shipping line over $30. Keep the extra bags sealed and unopened in a cool, dark cabinet and only open one at a time. An unopened bag in a dry pantry holds its quality far longer than an opened one, so rotating through them one bag at a time keeps every serving as crisp as the first.

Does your climate matter?

A little. In a dry climate, an opened bag is very forgiving and stays crisp with minimal effort. In a humid one, be stricter: reach for an airtight container right after opening, keep them away from the kitchen, and consider that desiccant packet for any bag you will not finish quickly. The principle never changes, only how aggressive you need to be about sealing.

When you are storing them for an event

If you bought a few bags ahead for a party or a gift, the storage approach is the same but the stakes feel higher, because you are counting on them being perfect on the day. Keep every bag sealed and unopened in a cool, dark cabinet until the event, and only open what you plan to put out. An unopened bag is the most forgiving way to store them, so leaving your party or gift supply sealed right up until the moment guarantees the crunch is at its best when it actually counts.

The fridge myth, one more time

It bears repeating, because it is the single most common mistake: do not refrigerate or freeze them. The instinct is strong, thanks to the ice cream nearby in the shop and a lifetime of candy habits, but cold storage adds the exact moisture you are trying to avoid. Room temperature, sealed, and dry is genuinely the best home for a freeze-dried candy, and trusting that is half the battle. Once you stop fighting your instincts and just keep them dry, storage becomes something you never have to think about again.

Keep it simple

For all the detail, the actual routine is short. Keep bags sealed until snack time, store them cool and dry, reseal tightly after opening, and stay away from the fridge and humid spots. That is the whole system, and it keeps the crunch loud. Because storing them is this easy, stocking up is a no-brainer. Grab a few bags of freeze-dried Unicorn Turds, keep them sealed in the pantry, clear $30 for free shipping, and use FREEZEOFF15 for 15% off your first order. Dry, sealed, and ready whenever you want them.